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Creative Energy

August 19, 2010

I have been in a slump for quite sometime.  I have not painted, wrote, drawn, or even read anything in a while now.  I feel like I am outside myself.  Somehow my energy has been sucked out of me.  I feel as if my spirit is dying.  I have had so much pain and loss lately I don’t even know what I feel.  Not being able to connect with myself I can’t begin to express myself artistically.  I feel as though I am suffering, but also that creating will ease my pain, yet I still can not pick up a pastel, a brush, a canvas anything.  I have been stuck in this place and need to get out.  Going back over things looking for a way to revitalize my life spirit.  This is no way to live, life should be lived, not stuck.  I don’t feel that internal fire burning inside me anymore and that is what hurts the most.  The outside world can not hurt you when you are truly living.  I need to live again.  I need energy to flow through me.  I need to create something, anything.  Even writing this I don’t feel creative.  I am just writing what I have to say, without anyone to listen.  What happened to my dreams of owning my own art gallery, creating greeting cards, writing stories…where is my creative energy.  Where am I?

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