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Someone Special

March 30, 2009

Lately things have been going just right. I can’t complain about anything. The weather was beautiful this weekend, even with the rain. I am enjoying work. I like my new home and my weekend visits to Raleigh. I am still trying to get really settled. During the week, I just try to unwind from the day and relax. When its nice outside I go down to the brook and listen to the water run over the rocks and just walk along side it for a little while. I love the water. I would like to take a trip to the beach one weekend. I am working that out now.

Everything in life is coming together so beautifully now. I brought some more of my art supplies back with me. I need to organize my room a little better. I am going to do that tomorrow, then I will be able to start painting again!!! I am so excited!!! I can even paint outside!!!

Ok enough about that. My ex and I watched a movie together this weekend. It was almost like old times. More than anything I just enjoyed the company. It is still hard to believe how things went so wrong between us. Anyway…the problem is this. I want to be able to chill and relax with someone that I can be with and that also wants to be with me. My ex has let me go, but not 100%. a while ago I would have took watching a movie to mean that we were going to get back together. Now I see it as just watching a movie. I am glad that I got over all the hurt and the pain. Lately I am breaking away from feeling like it is ‘wrong’ for me to move on. If he wanted to be with me he would; if any guy really wanted to be with me they would. I know what I want from a man as far as a relationship goes. I do have one special friend that I would like to have a serious relationship with, but I am rethinking that also.

This weekend taught me quite a few things. I know that I no longer desire to be with my ex. I care about him, but at this point it would take a lot…more than I am willing to give to go back down that road with him. I am sure that we will be good friends and will always care about each other. He has always had my back. For the first time in a while I can honestly say that I am ready, able, and willing to give my all to someone special. I no longer desire to be with a guy just because I don’t want to be alone or whatever the case may be, there are specific things, qualities that I am looking for in a man. I am seeking something real with someone special.

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